What's up with this fat shaming/ anti fat shaming thing?

Recently I've been seeing a ton of "(s)he put fat shamer's in their place" type of articles. I just don't get this trend. In all these pieces, the subject, who happens to be over weight, encounters someone, or something, that makes them feel bad. They then do or say something to put that other person in his/her place and makes themselves feel better... Does anyone see any flaw in that statement?

1st prenancy,
5 months prego,
only got bigger from there!

First, let me show I'm unbiased, I take no side point of view. I am over weight. Thanks to gestational diabetes and preeclampsia with my second pregnancy, I gained 70 lbs. Buddyboy is 8 weeks old and I still have 30+ pounds to go. I foresee a long journey to my pre-baby weight. I am not a mother who loses her baby weight fast. With my first pregnancy, again gestational diabetes, I gained 59 lbs. It took me 2.5 years and a ton of hard work to rid myself of that weight... only to become pregnant and gain it back plus some. Oh the sacrifices...

Anyway, I know what it's like to live an over weight life. I get the stares, the uneasiness of someone looking at you, I understand. However, I also understand living life at a healthy weight.

So, let us return to my issue. This whole circle of shame that's apparently happening. First, no one should be shamed. No one. Shaming is cruel. Words that are cruely spoken can stick with a person for years. Second, people need to step back and take a look at reality. If you happen to be a judger of others, why don't you pause, and consider the option that you don't have all the facts. I've read so many postings, articles, etc about how celebrity moms don't lose the baby weight fast enough. I'm sorry but every person is different and each person's chemistry reacts differently to pregnancy as well as recovery. Many writers of these horrid posts have no idea if that celebrity had an easy "normal" pregnancy and recovery, or if she had a difficult- high risk pregnancy and/or recovery. They have no idea what has medically been happening with this new mother and should really be ashamed of their behavior towards her.

Now on the non-pregnant side, if a person is over weight there are a MULTITUDE of possible causes. They may have just had a baby, they may have a serious health issue, they may need medication which packs on pounds rather than allow them to stay at a healthy weight, they may have just lost a loved one, house, or job which has caused a great deal of stress (and doesn't help with weight), they may be recovering from an injury and aren't able to work out yet, or yes, they could just eat very poorly, not work out, and not take proper care of themselves. There are a lot of possibilities, so fat-judgers, take a step back and keep your opinions to yourself.

Also, if you happen to be on the receiving end of this and are an overweight individual, you too need to chill out. Not everyone is against you. Not every comment is directed towards you. I read one article about a woman who happened to overhear a private conversation between a mother and daughter. They were discussing a plus size shirt and how the daughter and a friend could fit inside the shirt together. Yes, it seems a ridiculous conversation. Yes obviously said daughter is ridiculously skinny as must be her friend. No, this comment was not meant for you plus sized woman. No they were not trying to make you feel horrible. I don't know how old this daughter was, but I'm imagining a teen. Children, of all ages, make rude and hurtful comments (all the time) while being totally oblivious of their surroundings and what they are saying. Who cares what a 16 year old(ish) girl thinks? (don't forget she as also a stranger) If you get upset enough to need to leave the store, you personally have issues with yourself. You don't like you. If you don't like the fact that two small people can fit inside a piece of clothing which fits you fine, then fix the problem, lose the extra weight. There is no need to publicly share this story and put this mother and daughter down in order to feel better.
(Note: I never read the woman's original post, I only read a piece which praised her for her bravery and for 'putting fat shaming mother and daughter in their place.')

Finally, Skinny people are not the only judgers. I have heard over weight people exclaim "how small these shirts are!" or "this must be for a child. No adult could fit that!" False. The articles of clothing subjected to these statements are in the adult section and yes, there are adults that fit in them just fine. What I'm trying to point out here is that if you are going to judge anyone, for anything, you have to accept others judging you. Fat people judge skinny people; skinny judge fat. For years and years black and white people have judged each other. The same has gone for lower and upper classes. Tall people make rude comments to short people (often without realizing it) and short people do the same to tall people. (My 6'4" husband never played basketball so if you see him don't ask, he'll be grateful you didn't). Apparently it is just the new(ish) thing to publicly shame someone based on his/her shirt size.

We as the human race should really be saddened, or scared, because as a race we haven't learned from past mistakes. People are people. We are all human and no one is perfect. Most of the time you don't have all the facts to why a person looks a certain way. What if we could all stop staring and judging, and instead find the courage to walk up and talk to that different person, one human being to another? Now wouldn't that be nice.

Are we really starting Preschool??

I love browsing store aisles this time of year. They are full of the beginnings of "Back to School" supplies. Bright colored pencils and notebooks fill the shelves alongside markers and crayons. I don't know why but it makes me happy and excited. I don't remember shopping for new school supplies as a child. I'm sure there was a list, and my mom got what we needed, but my mother never enjoyed shopping in my youth so it wouldn't have been an exciting trip to the store for new clothes or trendy folders like Lisa Frank... ah how I always wanted a Lisa Frank folder, or notebook, or anything.

Anyway, as you know, I love the $ section at Target. Well those small aisles also have back to school supplies, but geared more towards teachers. I found some Pre-K workbooks, and super cute-educational calendar supplies. I couldn't resist, and having worked in an elementary before, I know that even preschoolers do the day of the week along with the weather each day. So here we are. My big kid three year old and me. Beginning to learn the days of the week each morning during breakfast.

Cute right?!  $5!

So far we've been at it for three days. Babycake has mastered "Today's Weather," as well as tomorrow's. She gets partly cloudy mixed up and says partly sunny, but really who's to say she's wrong on that one? I think the weather forecasts have been so easy for her to pick up b/c we discuss the weather on a daily basis; "no we can't go and swing b/c it's raining," "would you like to go for a bike ride? It's beautiful and sunny out," "what animals or shapes do you see in the clouds?" etc. She loves to put up the weather forecasts as well as the date. We sing the days of the week and she has learned how to say each day, but does not have the order in which they go down. Really I'm not worried about that. There are second graders who don't know the days of the week, so she's fine. We haven't even touched the month area. July is just up there b/c it belongs there, not because we're at that point in learning.

Over the last year we've done some crafts that involved a little bit of tracing. Babycake loves to get into my pens and pencils whenever possible, so I wasn't surprised when she was excited that the workbooks I got involved tracing our letters. On our first day she sat and did 2.5 pages in the workbook. I figure she'll be a great student once she hits school age b/c she will sit and do crafts for hours, and proved with this activity that she'll sit for a good amount of time working in a notebook.

Babycake didn't want to use crayons
 (why use crayons when you have a "big kid" pencil)
so she didn't color in the pictures as instructed, instead she circled them.

Instead of being nervous or overwhelmed that we're doing "school" stuff as I image some parents would be, I'm actually relieved. By doing these activities everyday I won't have to come up with my own plans or lessons like I have been for the last two years. Of course if I wanted to be mother of the year, I would continue to make lessons and crafts to finish our "Letter of the Week" lessons, I mean we only have Xx, Yy, and Zz. But honestly, I think we'll be taking a break. Babycake already knows all her letters, and coming up with crafts, getting supplies ready, and doing it has proved harder now that Buddyboy has come along. I think I'll stick with filling up prep time with nap time for the time being. Once I have this whole parent of two thing figured out I'll get more detailed and elaborate with our lessons. For now workbooks and calendars will do just fine.

Bugs

Children pick up social and behavioral cues from everyone they encounter. With it being summer, all the critters have come out. One of Babycake's best friends however is TERRIFIED of all bugs- large, small, friendly, scary. I believe that because Babycake looks up to her friend so much she has suddenly developed this fear as well, as if out of obligation. (sigh)

So how are we dealing with this sudden and frankly annoying fear of all things creepy crawly? We went to the library! We got lots of books on all the basic bugs we encounter and are reading, crafting, and learning about these creatures. What better way to conquer a fear than to conquer ignorance and learn there is nothing to fear at all?

We read a few books about flies, butterflies, and bugs. She enjoys reading so she liked this and was interested in all the different kinds of creepy crawlies there are. We also have been having a lot of rain this summer, so every time we go outside we find rained out worms. She doesn't like to touch them, but she enjoys finding them and looking at them. So after a couple days of reading, and a lot of rain, we made some worms because at this point we are no longer afraid of worms. (small victories people)

As you can see we have "normal" looking worms... all worms have two eyes duh... and "alien" worms that have one large googelie eye. These were super easy, and Babycake spent hours coming back to make more. All we used were pipe cleaners cut in half, cheerios, and google eyes.

I also happen to frequent the DollarTree and found a great little bug house. We've spent many evenings catching fireflies to put in it. We do let the fireflies out before going in for bed, which was a hard lesson for Babycake to learn our first night since she didn't believe us that the fireflies would be back the next night to play. We have also housed a caterpillar in our little bug house for about a week (and it lived! yay!!).

Finally, Babycake is also learning that bugs outside get to live, where as the bugs inside are executed. When Babycake finds any bug, pretty much anywhere, she rushes to let us know about it and proclaims we must kill it. However, if we are with her and pointing out bugs, she's interested and unafraid. Babycake and I were out a few days ago... one of the rare days it wasn't raining...  and I was able to point out flies, ants, two different types of spiders, and lots of grasshoppers all in the grass of our backyard. She was very excited to see all the different creatures and explore. I was just happy she wasn't running away crying.

After a few weeks of this intentional bug discussion and discovery in our home we've made great progress. Some days we like bugs, others we don't. Some days she can stomp on an ant in the house on her own, but most of the time she runs to Mamma or Daddy. This may just be a thing we'll have to go through the next few summers. (I have my fingers crossed that we don't)