Choking Hazards

When it was just Babycake and me going to play dates, I sometimes found myself questioning other parents' safety awareness or carelessness. Often times if there was an older sibling in the house, there would be an abundance of toys that were potential choking hazards. I honestly tried to keep an open mind in most cases since I like to look back on my own childhood for parenting reference and I can remember so many toys that were choking hazards or had sharp edges that were "the" toys every kid wanted. Sometimes though, the parents whose awareness I was trying not to question, just really didn't seem to care about keeping the safe toys out and the older children's toys out of reach of the younger children. Those were the houses that I would get frustrated at. Play dates are supposed to be fun for both the parents and kids, but when a parent has to continually follow his/her kid around making sure they don't touch this or that thing left out which is too dangerous or too fragile, the kid gets frustrated they don't get to play with what they want to play with, and the parent doesn't get to have a nice time talking with the other mom or dad.

As I've mentioned in posts before, I was a nanny for two children the same age gap and gender of my two coincidentally. The mother of these children was very aware of choking hazards and kept the entire house free of them. It was really impressive, but I'm just not that determined to rid the house of every toy w small parts. Babycake is now 3 so many of her toys come w multiple pieces that if broken would be cause for choking concern. Most of these toys she received from friends and family as gifts. I don't want to rid the house of gifts from loved ones.

My dilemma: our house has a 3 yr old and a 4 month old. Buddyboy is now grasping, holding, and chewing on anything and everything in his reach. Before Bubbyboy was born, my husband and I discussed the importance of choking hazards around babies w Babycake so that once he arrived we wouldn't be implementing new rules b/c of the new baby which could then lead to resentment of the new baby. I slowly started moving certain toys from the living room or other public rooms, to Babycake's bedroom. This way she became accustomed to certain toys in certain areas, and if she tried to bring those toys out into the living room, I would explain that toys which are choking hazards need to stay away from where the baby would be and she could still play with those toys in her room where it was safe.

This explanation suites Babycake fine most of the time, but she's three. So, you know, there have been some tantrums thrown b/c of this rule. Babycake loves her baby brother. She is an amazing helper and second mommy. If he's upset she's the one that gets him to start laughing. It's really a beautiful relationship they have. So when she throws these fits or doesn't think about the danger of leaving a ribbon right next to her brother's head, I know it's not b/c she doesn't care about his safety or well being. It's b/c she's three and her mind jumps from one thing to the next at lightening speed often times without thinking of her surrounding environment or cause and effects.

toilet paper roll wrapped in
pink duct tape, taped to the
wall next to her door for
quick checks before
leaving the room

So to help Babycake get a better grasp on the size of toys that are allowed in public spaces, I helped her make and hang her very own "choking hazard tester." This has been very helpful for all of us! Babycake often tests her toys. If she wants to bring out a toy from her room which I deem too dangerous for public spaces, all I need to ask now is "would you mind checking that with the chocking hazard tester? I'm not sure that is safe to be out of your room." SHE then has the power to check the potential danger and inform me if I was right or wrong. This of course works wonders for my strong minded - independent little girl. There have been fewer and fewer tantrums over toy dangers. Instead, she gets to take charge and be the safety keeper of the house.

checking wood block
choking safety

Babycake's become so accustomed to testing her toys she really doesn't need it for much anymore. If we are out somewhere, she'll point out small objects, or toys for children her age, and explain to me that "Buddyboy can't play with that b/c it's a choking hazard." (I'm so proud!!)

All in all, this has been a great little invention for us. Everyone is happy with it's results and the home is a bit safer.

For That Other Mom Who Judged Me

Dear Pink Shirt Mom,

Yes. I let my three year old go into the public restroom by herself. Yes, she can wipe, flush, lock/unlock the stall, wash and dry hands all by herself. Yes, I asked her multiple times if she was sure she could do this all on her own. Yes I care about my childrens' safety.

Just so you know, I received an eye roll, sigh, and "yes mooooom" before the restroom door was shut in my face for even asking if she was certain she wanted to do this by herself. I've been standing in this checkout line right outside the restroom door with my 4 month old. I've been watching the bathroom door to see who goes in, out, and if the door seems to be struggling to open b/c that would be the one thing I expect her to struggle with.

But no, I didn't expect her to call for me b/c she pooped. In my attempts to make certain she wanted to do this on her own, I asked if she needed to poop and she said no. My child does not tell fibs often, and has no shame about pooping. So, I didn't expect her to poop. That, I would have gone into the restroom for. She knows I am the one that does not want her to wipe herself after pooping. I do not want the little smear stains in her underwear after her attempts at wiping that tiny crack. Yes, after her surprise poop, she called for me. And yes, I was not there b/c I was in the checkout line, watching the door, and waiting with a fussy baby.

I really don't think she would have been upset or scared had you not been there. Instead, when she came out, she looked shamed and frightened like she had done something wrong. I know it was b/c of words from your mouth. The other mom who came out before you smiled at me with an understanding when she asked if the lone child was mine and simply informed me she had been calling for me. But when you came out, I saw your look as you held firm to your 7 year old son's hand and strode away. I'm sure in your state of judgement you couldn't conceive how hurt I was that my baby was calling for me and I was not there. I fought back tears when I saw her slouched shoulders and shaken state when she emerged from the restroom. If you had not said something, she would have just attempted a wipe on her own and gone about her business as usual. Instead she made a point to inform me that I was not there, that she pooped, and couldn't reach the soap so just had to use the water to wash her hands. My brave little girl. So independent. So strong. She took good care of herself as I waited outside the door shushing my baby. I don't care what you think of me. I won't bother my child to find out what exactly you said to her or about her in ear shot. My little girl did just fine. We reached a milestone and stumbled a bit, but we did it together and walked to the car holding hands.

We LOVE Learning!

As discussed in a previous post we've started preschool, and it's going great! Babycake just loves it. Each morning during breakfast we go over the date and weather. Then some time during the day we'll read and do a craft or a few pages in one of our workbooks. Babycake loves her workbooks. We have one for tracing letters, and one for counting, matching, and tracing our numbers. Here's Babycake showing off her work after completing 10 straight pages. (I asked repeatedly if she was ready to stop and she just wanted to keep going)

This summer we also participated in the the library's summer reading program. We got some great rewards like passes to the Children's Museum Haunted House, free passes to an Indian's baseball game, and more. The program recently ended, and they just started a new program in it's place "1000 Books By Kindergarten." We are so excited to be in the trial group. We signed up the first day it was available, 12 days ago, and have already read 32 books. Its really great to see how much we read, and we're not even trying to read more than usual. What's really great about this program, vs the summer reading program, is that you're not required to only read library books, and you can read the same books over and over and still count them. (this is great since every parent knows that you go through special books in phases and you have to read that book every night until the next special book is discovered)

Fun Window Clings in our kitchen

Anyway, that's what's been going on here. Lots of reading, tracing, counting, matching, and learning learning learning. I'm so glad Babycake loves education and finds it fun. I hope that we can continue to keep learning fun and she'll love school and homework when she's older.

What's up with this fat shaming/ anti fat shaming thing?

Recently I've been seeing a ton of "(s)he put fat shamer's in their place" type of articles. I just don't get this trend. In all these pieces, the subject, who happens to be over weight, encounters someone, or something, that makes them feel bad. They then do or say something to put that other person in his/her place and makes themselves feel better... Does anyone see any flaw in that statement?

1st prenancy,
5 months prego,
only got bigger from there!

First, let me show I'm unbiased, I take no side point of view. I am over weight. Thanks to gestational diabetes and preeclampsia with my second pregnancy, I gained 70 lbs. Buddyboy is 8 weeks old and I still have 30+ pounds to go. I foresee a long journey to my pre-baby weight. I am not a mother who loses her baby weight fast. With my first pregnancy, again gestational diabetes, I gained 59 lbs. It took me 2.5 years and a ton of hard work to rid myself of that weight... only to become pregnant and gain it back plus some. Oh the sacrifices...

Anyway, I know what it's like to live an over weight life. I get the stares, the uneasiness of someone looking at you, I understand. However, I also understand living life at a healthy weight.

So, let us return to my issue. This whole circle of shame that's apparently happening. First, no one should be shamed. No one. Shaming is cruel. Words that are cruely spoken can stick with a person for years. Second, people need to step back and take a look at reality. If you happen to be a judger of others, why don't you pause, and consider the option that you don't have all the facts. I've read so many postings, articles, etc about how celebrity moms don't lose the baby weight fast enough. I'm sorry but every person is different and each person's chemistry reacts differently to pregnancy as well as recovery. Many writers of these horrid posts have no idea if that celebrity had an easy "normal" pregnancy and recovery, or if she had a difficult- high risk pregnancy and/or recovery. They have no idea what has medically been happening with this new mother and should really be ashamed of their behavior towards her.

Now on the non-pregnant side, if a person is over weight there are a MULTITUDE of possible causes. They may have just had a baby, they may have a serious health issue, they may need medication which packs on pounds rather than allow them to stay at a healthy weight, they may have just lost a loved one, house, or job which has caused a great deal of stress (and doesn't help with weight), they may be recovering from an injury and aren't able to work out yet, or yes, they could just eat very poorly, not work out, and not take proper care of themselves. There are a lot of possibilities, so fat-judgers, take a step back and keep your opinions to yourself.

Also, if you happen to be on the receiving end of this and are an overweight individual, you too need to chill out. Not everyone is against you. Not every comment is directed towards you. I read one article about a woman who happened to overhear a private conversation between a mother and daughter. They were discussing a plus size shirt and how the daughter and a friend could fit inside the shirt together. Yes, it seems a ridiculous conversation. Yes obviously said daughter is ridiculously skinny as must be her friend. No, this comment was not meant for you plus sized woman. No they were not trying to make you feel horrible. I don't know how old this daughter was, but I'm imagining a teen. Children, of all ages, make rude and hurtful comments (all the time) while being totally oblivious of their surroundings and what they are saying. Who cares what a 16 year old(ish) girl thinks? (don't forget she as also a stranger) If you get upset enough to need to leave the store, you personally have issues with yourself. You don't like you. If you don't like the fact that two small people can fit inside a piece of clothing which fits you fine, then fix the problem, lose the extra weight. There is no need to publicly share this story and put this mother and daughter down in order to feel better.
(Note: I never read the woman's original post, I only read a piece which praised her for her bravery and for 'putting fat shaming mother and daughter in their place.')

Finally, Skinny people are not the only judgers. I have heard over weight people exclaim "how small these shirts are!" or "this must be for a child. No adult could fit that!" False. The articles of clothing subjected to these statements are in the adult section and yes, there are adults that fit in them just fine. What I'm trying to point out here is that if you are going to judge anyone, for anything, you have to accept others judging you. Fat people judge skinny people; skinny judge fat. For years and years black and white people have judged each other. The same has gone for lower and upper classes. Tall people make rude comments to short people (often without realizing it) and short people do the same to tall people. (My 6'4" husband never played basketball so if you see him don't ask, he'll be grateful you didn't). Apparently it is just the new(ish) thing to publicly shame someone based on his/her shirt size.

We as the human race should really be saddened, or scared, because as a race we haven't learned from past mistakes. People are people. We are all human and no one is perfect. Most of the time you don't have all the facts to why a person looks a certain way. What if we could all stop staring and judging, and instead find the courage to walk up and talk to that different person, one human being to another? Now wouldn't that be nice.

Are we really starting Preschool??

I love browsing store aisles this time of year. They are full of the beginnings of "Back to School" supplies. Bright colored pencils and notebooks fill the shelves alongside markers and crayons. I don't know why but it makes me happy and excited. I don't remember shopping for new school supplies as a child. I'm sure there was a list, and my mom got what we needed, but my mother never enjoyed shopping in my youth so it wouldn't have been an exciting trip to the store for new clothes or trendy folders like Lisa Frank... ah how I always wanted a Lisa Frank folder, or notebook, or anything.

Anyway, as you know, I love the $ section at Target. Well those small aisles also have back to school supplies, but geared more towards teachers. I found some Pre-K workbooks, and super cute-educational calendar supplies. I couldn't resist, and having worked in an elementary before, I know that even preschoolers do the day of the week along with the weather each day. So here we are. My big kid three year old and me. Beginning to learn the days of the week each morning during breakfast.

Cute right?!  $5!

So far we've been at it for three days. Babycake has mastered "Today's Weather," as well as tomorrow's. She gets partly cloudy mixed up and says partly sunny, but really who's to say she's wrong on that one? I think the weather forecasts have been so easy for her to pick up b/c we discuss the weather on a daily basis; "no we can't go and swing b/c it's raining," "would you like to go for a bike ride? It's beautiful and sunny out," "what animals or shapes do you see in the clouds?" etc. She loves to put up the weather forecasts as well as the date. We sing the days of the week and she has learned how to say each day, but does not have the order in which they go down. Really I'm not worried about that. There are second graders who don't know the days of the week, so she's fine. We haven't even touched the month area. July is just up there b/c it belongs there, not because we're at that point in learning.

Over the last year we've done some crafts that involved a little bit of tracing. Babycake loves to get into my pens and pencils whenever possible, so I wasn't surprised when she was excited that the workbooks I got involved tracing our letters. On our first day she sat and did 2.5 pages in the workbook. I figure she'll be a great student once she hits school age b/c she will sit and do crafts for hours, and proved with this activity that she'll sit for a good amount of time working in a notebook.

Babycake didn't want to use crayons
 (why use crayons when you have a "big kid" pencil)
so she didn't color in the pictures as instructed, instead she circled them.

Instead of being nervous or overwhelmed that we're doing "school" stuff as I image some parents would be, I'm actually relieved. By doing these activities everyday I won't have to come up with my own plans or lessons like I have been for the last two years. Of course if I wanted to be mother of the year, I would continue to make lessons and crafts to finish our "Letter of the Week" lessons, I mean we only have Xx, Yy, and Zz. But honestly, I think we'll be taking a break. Babycake already knows all her letters, and coming up with crafts, getting supplies ready, and doing it has proved harder now that Buddyboy has come along. I think I'll stick with filling up prep time with nap time for the time being. Once I have this whole parent of two thing figured out I'll get more detailed and elaborate with our lessons. For now workbooks and calendars will do just fine.

Bugs

Children pick up social and behavioral cues from everyone they encounter. With it being summer, all the critters have come out. One of Babycake's best friends however is TERRIFIED of all bugs- large, small, friendly, scary. I believe that because Babycake looks up to her friend so much she has suddenly developed this fear as well, as if out of obligation. (sigh)

So how are we dealing with this sudden and frankly annoying fear of all things creepy crawly? We went to the library! We got lots of books on all the basic bugs we encounter and are reading, crafting, and learning about these creatures. What better way to conquer a fear than to conquer ignorance and learn there is nothing to fear at all?

We read a few books about flies, butterflies, and bugs. She enjoys reading so she liked this and was interested in all the different kinds of creepy crawlies there are. We also have been having a lot of rain this summer, so every time we go outside we find rained out worms. She doesn't like to touch them, but she enjoys finding them and looking at them. So after a couple days of reading, and a lot of rain, we made some worms because at this point we are no longer afraid of worms. (small victories people)

As you can see we have "normal" looking worms... all worms have two eyes duh... and "alien" worms that have one large googelie eye. These were super easy, and Babycake spent hours coming back to make more. All we used were pipe cleaners cut in half, cheerios, and google eyes.

I also happen to frequent the DollarTree and found a great little bug house. We've spent many evenings catching fireflies to put in it. We do let the fireflies out before going in for bed, which was a hard lesson for Babycake to learn our first night since she didn't believe us that the fireflies would be back the next night to play. We have also housed a caterpillar in our little bug house for about a week (and it lived! yay!!).

Finally, Babycake is also learning that bugs outside get to live, where as the bugs inside are executed. When Babycake finds any bug, pretty much anywhere, she rushes to let us know about it and proclaims we must kill it. However, if we are with her and pointing out bugs, she's interested and unafraid. Babycake and I were out a few days ago... one of the rare days it wasn't raining...  and I was able to point out flies, ants, two different types of spiders, and lots of grasshoppers all in the grass of our backyard. She was very excited to see all the different creatures and explore. I was just happy she wasn't running away crying.

After a few weeks of this intentional bug discussion and discovery in our home we've made great progress. Some days we like bugs, others we don't. Some days she can stomp on an ant in the house on her own, but most of the time she runs to Mamma or Daddy. This may just be a thing we'll have to go through the next few summers. (I have my fingers crossed that we don't)

Letter of the week: Vv & Ww

Well a lot has happened in the last few weeks. We welcomed our newest member of the family and bc of this addition, our crafting and structured  learning has been temporarily put on hold. 

A couple days before "Buddyboy" was born Babycake and I worked on the letter Vv. This letter's sound was a bit difficult for her. For some reason she kept wanting to make the F sound. I finally got her to look at my mouth when making the V sound and that did help, though I'm not convinced it will stick.

Our crafts we created for the letter Vv were vegetables, a vase w flowers, a volcano, a vulture, and a violin which also had V's to trace and that was very exciting to trace.

 We then took our letter hiatis for a few weeks and have just gotten back to it with the letter Ww. Our Ww crafts were wings, a watermelon, a wagon, a walrus with whiskers, and a weather wheel. I hope the weather wheel clicks in her head about the different things we see outside being weather and not simply snow, rain, clouds, and sun.

It was so nice to get back to learning and crafting with Babycake. We both had a really great time, and the fact that we did all these crafts in one day says we missed this.