Dear Pink Shirt Mom,
Yes. I let my three year old go into the public restroom by herself. Yes, she can wipe, flush, lock/unlock the stall, wash and dry hands all by herself. Yes, I asked her multiple times if she was sure she could do this all on her own. Yes I care about my childrens' safety.
Just so you know, I received an eye roll, sigh, and "yes mooooom" before the restroom door was shut in my face for even asking if she was certain she wanted to do this by herself. I've been standing in this checkout line right outside the restroom door with my 4 month old. I've been watching the bathroom door to see who goes in, out, and if the door seems to be struggling to open b/c that would be the one thing I expect her to struggle with.
But no, I didn't expect her to call for me b/c she pooped. In my attempts to make certain she wanted to do this on her own, I asked if she needed to poop and she said no. My child does not tell fibs often, and has no shame about pooping. So, I didn't expect her to poop. That, I would have gone into the restroom for. She knows I am the one that does not want her to wipe herself after pooping. I do not want the little smear stains in her underwear after her attempts at wiping that tiny crack. Yes, after her surprise poop, she called for me. And yes, I was not there b/c I was in the checkout line, watching the door, and waiting with a fussy baby.
I really don't think she would have been upset or scared had you not been there. Instead, when she came out, she looked shamed and frightened like she had done something wrong. I know it was b/c of words from your mouth. The other mom who came out before you smiled at me with an understanding when she asked if the lone child was mine and simply informed me she had been calling for me. But when you came out, I saw your look as you held firm to your 7 year old son's hand and strode away. I'm sure in your state of judgement you couldn't conceive how hurt I was that my baby was calling for me and I was not there. I fought back tears when I saw her slouched shoulders and shaken state when she emerged from the restroom. If you had not said something, she would have just attempted a wipe on her own and gone about her business as usual. Instead she made a point to inform me that I was not there, that she pooped, and couldn't reach the soap so just had to use the water to wash her hands. My brave little girl. So independent. So strong. She took good care of herself as I waited outside the door shushing my baby. I don't care what you think of me. I won't bother my child to find out what exactly you said to her or about her in ear shot. My little girl did just fine. We reached a milestone and stumbled a bit, but we did it together and walked to the car holding hands.
