Babycake's Activity Book: Car Trip!

Two weeks after our failed camping trip, our little family of four took a trip to Kansas City to visit the hubby's sister. Our house to KC is 7.5 hours according to Google Maps. Traveling from our house to KC with a three year old and four month old... the trip took 10+ hours. Prior to the trip I mapped out our journey and all the possible stopping points (which had playgrounds either inside and out). I also planned lots of en route car entertainment for Babycake. One of those pastimes was a Car Ride Activity Book reused from the Camping Activity Book I previously created.

This book only had one activity: Find, Color, and Trace. Each page of the Activity Book had two images on it. Each time Babycake saw one of the objects depicted, she got to color it and trace it's name under it. There were times when she wanted to color the picture a certain color; so we could spend up to an hour looking out our window for a semi-truck that had red on it. Talk about killing time! Below you can see that not only was she focused on staying in the lines (as much as possible for a three year old, and in a moving car), she also traced the provided words to perfection. Then she practiced copying words and writing them independently. Uhg!! So proud of this girl and her aptitude!!!

This was a great hit with Babycake. It was a game she got to play, break from, and pick up without missing a thing. I'm sure there will be more activity books in the future.

Babycake's Activity Book

Over the first weekend of October we were supposed to go camping with some friends. It was going to be our first camping trip as a family of  four, and only our second time camping with Babycake, who is now 3. We tried once before to go camping with her when she was about Buddyboy's age and it didn't go well. However, this time our friends invited us and we felt more prepared to camp with kids after having failed so miserably before... plus there would be three times as many adults as kids so our odds of keeping everyone happy were in our favor.

Well it just so happened that the weekend we assumed would be beautifully warm weather for camping ended up being winter coat cold with wind and rain. Amazingly the two childless couples we planned to camp with canceled before us! Score one for the family of four! So instead we went to our friends' house (who lived out of town for us) and camped in their living room. Really, with the two little ones, especially one being 4 months old, it was my kind of camping! We all had a really good time and still got to carve pumpkins, eat good food, have a fire, and enjoy good company. I even had sleepless nights with multiple awakenings from the kids not being used to sleeping in a strange place.

The only disappointment I had was that Babycake wouldn't get to use the Activity book I had made her. Being the lover of learning that she is, I wanted to make sure she would have ample opportunities to learn about all the amazing things she'd be surrounded by and experiencing on our camping trip. I also acknowledge that being three, her attention span is quickly moving and easily distracted. So I created the Camping Activity Book to allow for some guided education that could keep her happy if she needed to stay in one spot while all the adults were busy.

The activity book was simple enough that the other adults with us could figure out what the purpose of a task was if she asked for assistance. I included her pencil bag filled with a pencil, crayons, and tape which would be all the supplies she would need. The book itself was just an old collage three-ring binder that I created a cover page to slip in the clear front pocket. Then I created activities, printed them out, and clasped them inside the rings. Easy-peasy.

The first activity I created was camping bingo. In this bingo Babycake was to observe the world around her, be it at the campsite, or on a hike. If she spotted something that was depicted on her bingo page, she got to color it in. I didn't expect, or want, her to bring the binder with her everywhere. Instead I wanted her to enjoy her surroundings, and remember what she saw. The goal was also to color every picture on the page, not to only get one row filled in. The more coloring meant more observation, curious conversation about her surroundings, and learning.

The second activity I created was another way for Babycake to be aware of what was around her as well as practice her tracing and letter skills. I titled it cleverly, by what it was... Find, Tape, and Trace. The directions were also easy enough that I (or another adult) could explain them once, and Babycake could do the rest. Each part of the activity had an instruction, for example, the picture given shows "Can you find grass?" There is a picture of grass at the end of the question so Babycake knows what she is looking for since she cannot read. Then she would go hunting for grass, pick some, tape a few blades (or a handful) to the space provided on the page, and finish the section by tracing the word Grass. Once those steps were completed she was welcome to move on the the next section and find whatever was depicted and proceed the same as before.

The last activity I had in the book was a few camping themed coloring pages. Super simple and no instruction needed. I would have liked it if Babycake had completed the activity book, but that wasn't my number one goal for our camping trip. If we HAD gone camping, I created this book to simply provide a distraction for a busy toddler if she ever got bored while the adults cooked or sat around chatting. I truly believe the number one place children learn best is outside experiencing nature. You can learn numbers and counting simply by counting how many trees you see. You can create letters out of pine needles as Babycake herself has taught me. You learn about life and death through the seasons and all other important aspects of life by simply being aware of the awesome, amazing Earth we call home.

Life- Love's Greatest Gift

This post isn't about religion or politics. It's not about abortion, illness, or other. 

This post is about parenting and letting your children survive.

No matter how messed up your parents may be, or how much they screwed you up, you have to know they loved you. No matter what, even if it's the only human part left of them, they loved you. How do I know this? How can I say this when I don't know you, I don't know your story? You lived. That's how I know, because you lived.

I never knew that surviving infancy and childhood was a gift from you parents (or caregiver). I had no idea this was fact until I became a parent. Seriously, why is this a secret?! Why is this not mentioned in any of the parenting books or classes? When you're expecting your "little bundle of joy," the books, classes, and experienced parents all give hint to the sleepless nights and exhaustion which is to ensue, but no one ever mentions that every parent has his/her day(ssssssss) of sainthood. Yeah. It's true.

Today was one of my own sanctity days. Nothing major happened. Nothing horrible. Yes I was woken multiple times throughout the night, but that's not too uncommon in our home at the moment. Today was a pretty typical day to be honest. Babycake was the average three year old, and we still think Buddyboy is teething. But for some reason, every refusal to nap by said three year old, and every screech for a diaper change, feeding, or cuddle, made me want to pull my hair out. I didn't want to read, play, and craft today. I didn't want to rock my baby to sleep. I didn't want to go out in the cold and windy weather. No. I wanted to be left the hell alone! "Please don't wipe your nose on me. Don't hug me with those jelly hands. Did you wash after pooping? Why is he still screaming?  I have spit up running down my arm, hu, didn't even feel it that's so common."

Before being a parent I was baffled by the existence of Shaken Baby Syndrome. However, I came to understand how accidental it could actually be when Babycake was an infant- possibly the teething stage. She went through a time where she couldn't sleep without being in my arms due to gum discomfort. I remember one day being so exhausted and frustrated with her constant crying that I laid her in her crib and shook my fists, yelling. It lasted all of 10 seconds before I stared at my fists, no more than two feet away from her, in disbelief. I was shocked. Yes, I was exhausted to the point I couldn't hold a real conversation with an adult and yes I was frustrated, but had I not been clear headed enough to lay my baby down before shaking my fists in desperate anger, I could have easily kept her in my hands while I shook. (gulp)

Today, I left my crying baby boy in his crib so I could stomp around the house yelling. This was great in that I got relief and didn't yell at Buddyboy or do him any harm. This was not so great in that I had to repeatedly assure Babycake I was not mad at her, she was fine, Mommy is just really cranky today and still loves you to the moon and back.

Earlier this week my husband took a few days off work and then told me he was really looking forward to going back to work because he needed to get away. He needed a break from the kids. (yeah, me too!) As obnoxious as this was to hear, since I NEVER get a break (nope, honestly, don't get a day off from being Mommy until Buddyboy is one and done with nursing- then off to Grandma's the two kiddos will go!), this statement was at least a confirmation for me in my own personal thoughts that I have the hardest job. Day in, day out, 24/7, 365 days a year, I am on call. Naps don't line up today? No personal time for me. I don't get a 15, 30, 60 min break in my work day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are more often than not cold b/c someone needs my attention before I can take a bite. That weird noise in the middle of the night? Yeah, heard it and now trying to pass out so I can get 20 more mins before a middle of the night feeding or a nightmare demands my attention.

I love my children. I will do anything for them, but sometimes I fall short and the only gift I can give them is life. Today was that day. We all survived. Tomorrow has got to be better. Thank you Mom and Dad for letting me live past these stages.

Choking Hazards

When it was just Babycake and me going to play dates, I sometimes found myself questioning other parents' safety awareness or carelessness. Often times if there was an older sibling in the house, there would be an abundance of toys that were potential choking hazards. I honestly tried to keep an open mind in most cases since I like to look back on my own childhood for parenting reference and I can remember so many toys that were choking hazards or had sharp edges that were "the" toys every kid wanted. Sometimes though, the parents whose awareness I was trying not to question, just really didn't seem to care about keeping the safe toys out and the older children's toys out of reach of the younger children. Those were the houses that I would get frustrated at. Play dates are supposed to be fun for both the parents and kids, but when a parent has to continually follow his/her kid around making sure they don't touch this or that thing left out which is too dangerous or too fragile, the kid gets frustrated they don't get to play with what they want to play with, and the parent doesn't get to have a nice time talking with the other mom or dad.

As I've mentioned in posts before, I was a nanny for two children the same age gap and gender of my two coincidentally. The mother of these children was very aware of choking hazards and kept the entire house free of them. It was really impressive, but I'm just not that determined to rid the house of every toy w small parts. Babycake is now 3 so many of her toys come w multiple pieces that if broken would be cause for choking concern. Most of these toys she received from friends and family as gifts. I don't want to rid the house of gifts from loved ones.

My dilemma: our house has a 3 yr old and a 4 month old. Buddyboy is now grasping, holding, and chewing on anything and everything in his reach. Before Bubbyboy was born, my husband and I discussed the importance of choking hazards around babies w Babycake so that once he arrived we wouldn't be implementing new rules b/c of the new baby which could then lead to resentment of the new baby. I slowly started moving certain toys from the living room or other public rooms, to Babycake's bedroom. This way she became accustomed to certain toys in certain areas, and if she tried to bring those toys out into the living room, I would explain that toys which are choking hazards need to stay away from where the baby would be and she could still play with those toys in her room where it was safe.

This explanation suites Babycake fine most of the time, but she's three. So, you know, there have been some tantrums thrown b/c of this rule. Babycake loves her baby brother. She is an amazing helper and second mommy. If he's upset she's the one that gets him to start laughing. It's really a beautiful relationship they have. So when she throws these fits or doesn't think about the danger of leaving a ribbon right next to her brother's head, I know it's not b/c she doesn't care about his safety or well being. It's b/c she's three and her mind jumps from one thing to the next at lightening speed often times without thinking of her surrounding environment or cause and effects.

toilet paper roll wrapped in
pink duct tape, taped to the
wall next to her door for
quick checks before
leaving the room

So to help Babycake get a better grasp on the size of toys that are allowed in public spaces, I helped her make and hang her very own "choking hazard tester." This has been very helpful for all of us! Babycake often tests her toys. If she wants to bring out a toy from her room which I deem too dangerous for public spaces, all I need to ask now is "would you mind checking that with the chocking hazard tester? I'm not sure that is safe to be out of your room." SHE then has the power to check the potential danger and inform me if I was right or wrong. This of course works wonders for my strong minded - independent little girl. There have been fewer and fewer tantrums over toy dangers. Instead, she gets to take charge and be the safety keeper of the house.

checking wood block
choking safety

Babycake's become so accustomed to testing her toys she really doesn't need it for much anymore. If we are out somewhere, she'll point out small objects, or toys for children her age, and explain to me that "Buddyboy can't play with that b/c it's a choking hazard." (I'm so proud!!)

All in all, this has been a great little invention for us. Everyone is happy with it's results and the home is a bit safer.

For That Other Mom Who Judged Me

Dear Pink Shirt Mom,

Yes. I let my three year old go into the public restroom by herself. Yes, she can wipe, flush, lock/unlock the stall, wash and dry hands all by herself. Yes, I asked her multiple times if she was sure she could do this all on her own. Yes I care about my childrens' safety.

Just so you know, I received an eye roll, sigh, and "yes mooooom" before the restroom door was shut in my face for even asking if she was certain she wanted to do this by herself. I've been standing in this checkout line right outside the restroom door with my 4 month old. I've been watching the bathroom door to see who goes in, out, and if the door seems to be struggling to open b/c that would be the one thing I expect her to struggle with.

But no, I didn't expect her to call for me b/c she pooped. In my attempts to make certain she wanted to do this on her own, I asked if she needed to poop and she said no. My child does not tell fibs often, and has no shame about pooping. So, I didn't expect her to poop. That, I would have gone into the restroom for. She knows I am the one that does not want her to wipe herself after pooping. I do not want the little smear stains in her underwear after her attempts at wiping that tiny crack. Yes, after her surprise poop, she called for me. And yes, I was not there b/c I was in the checkout line, watching the door, and waiting with a fussy baby.

I really don't think she would have been upset or scared had you not been there. Instead, when she came out, she looked shamed and frightened like she had done something wrong. I know it was b/c of words from your mouth. The other mom who came out before you smiled at me with an understanding when she asked if the lone child was mine and simply informed me she had been calling for me. But when you came out, I saw your look as you held firm to your 7 year old son's hand and strode away. I'm sure in your state of judgement you couldn't conceive how hurt I was that my baby was calling for me and I was not there. I fought back tears when I saw her slouched shoulders and shaken state when she emerged from the restroom. If you had not said something, she would have just attempted a wipe on her own and gone about her business as usual. Instead she made a point to inform me that I was not there, that she pooped, and couldn't reach the soap so just had to use the water to wash her hands. My brave little girl. So independent. So strong. She took good care of herself as I waited outside the door shushing my baby. I don't care what you think of me. I won't bother my child to find out what exactly you said to her or about her in ear shot. My little girl did just fine. We reached a milestone and stumbled a bit, but we did it together and walked to the car holding hands.

We LOVE Learning!

As discussed in a previous post we've started preschool, and it's going great! Babycake just loves it. Each morning during breakfast we go over the date and weather. Then some time during the day we'll read and do a craft or a few pages in one of our workbooks. Babycake loves her workbooks. We have one for tracing letters, and one for counting, matching, and tracing our numbers. Here's Babycake showing off her work after completing 10 straight pages. (I asked repeatedly if she was ready to stop and she just wanted to keep going)

This summer we also participated in the the library's summer reading program. We got some great rewards like passes to the Children's Museum Haunted House, free passes to an Indian's baseball game, and more. The program recently ended, and they just started a new program in it's place "1000 Books By Kindergarten." We are so excited to be in the trial group. We signed up the first day it was available, 12 days ago, and have already read 32 books. Its really great to see how much we read, and we're not even trying to read more than usual. What's really great about this program, vs the summer reading program, is that you're not required to only read library books, and you can read the same books over and over and still count them. (this is great since every parent knows that you go through special books in phases and you have to read that book every night until the next special book is discovered)

Fun Window Clings in our kitchen

Anyway, that's what's been going on here. Lots of reading, tracing, counting, matching, and learning learning learning. I'm so glad Babycake loves education and finds it fun. I hope that we can continue to keep learning fun and she'll love school and homework when she's older.

What's up with this fat shaming/ anti fat shaming thing?

Recently I've been seeing a ton of "(s)he put fat shamer's in their place" type of articles. I just don't get this trend. In all these pieces, the subject, who happens to be over weight, encounters someone, or something, that makes them feel bad. They then do or say something to put that other person in his/her place and makes themselves feel better... Does anyone see any flaw in that statement?

1st prenancy,
5 months prego,
only got bigger from there!

First, let me show I'm unbiased, I take no side point of view. I am over weight. Thanks to gestational diabetes and preeclampsia with my second pregnancy, I gained 70 lbs. Buddyboy is 8 weeks old and I still have 30+ pounds to go. I foresee a long journey to my pre-baby weight. I am not a mother who loses her baby weight fast. With my first pregnancy, again gestational diabetes, I gained 59 lbs. It took me 2.5 years and a ton of hard work to rid myself of that weight... only to become pregnant and gain it back plus some. Oh the sacrifices...

Anyway, I know what it's like to live an over weight life. I get the stares, the uneasiness of someone looking at you, I understand. However, I also understand living life at a healthy weight.

So, let us return to my issue. This whole circle of shame that's apparently happening. First, no one should be shamed. No one. Shaming is cruel. Words that are cruely spoken can stick with a person for years. Second, people need to step back and take a look at reality. If you happen to be a judger of others, why don't you pause, and consider the option that you don't have all the facts. I've read so many postings, articles, etc about how celebrity moms don't lose the baby weight fast enough. I'm sorry but every person is different and each person's chemistry reacts differently to pregnancy as well as recovery. Many writers of these horrid posts have no idea if that celebrity had an easy "normal" pregnancy and recovery, or if she had a difficult- high risk pregnancy and/or recovery. They have no idea what has medically been happening with this new mother and should really be ashamed of their behavior towards her.

Now on the non-pregnant side, if a person is over weight there are a MULTITUDE of possible causes. They may have just had a baby, they may have a serious health issue, they may need medication which packs on pounds rather than allow them to stay at a healthy weight, they may have just lost a loved one, house, or job which has caused a great deal of stress (and doesn't help with weight), they may be recovering from an injury and aren't able to work out yet, or yes, they could just eat very poorly, not work out, and not take proper care of themselves. There are a lot of possibilities, so fat-judgers, take a step back and keep your opinions to yourself.

Also, if you happen to be on the receiving end of this and are an overweight individual, you too need to chill out. Not everyone is against you. Not every comment is directed towards you. I read one article about a woman who happened to overhear a private conversation between a mother and daughter. They were discussing a plus size shirt and how the daughter and a friend could fit inside the shirt together. Yes, it seems a ridiculous conversation. Yes obviously said daughter is ridiculously skinny as must be her friend. No, this comment was not meant for you plus sized woman. No they were not trying to make you feel horrible. I don't know how old this daughter was, but I'm imagining a teen. Children, of all ages, make rude and hurtful comments (all the time) while being totally oblivious of their surroundings and what they are saying. Who cares what a 16 year old(ish) girl thinks? (don't forget she as also a stranger) If you get upset enough to need to leave the store, you personally have issues with yourself. You don't like you. If you don't like the fact that two small people can fit inside a piece of clothing which fits you fine, then fix the problem, lose the extra weight. There is no need to publicly share this story and put this mother and daughter down in order to feel better.
(Note: I never read the woman's original post, I only read a piece which praised her for her bravery and for 'putting fat shaming mother and daughter in their place.')

Finally, Skinny people are not the only judgers. I have heard over weight people exclaim "how small these shirts are!" or "this must be for a child. No adult could fit that!" False. The articles of clothing subjected to these statements are in the adult section and yes, there are adults that fit in them just fine. What I'm trying to point out here is that if you are going to judge anyone, for anything, you have to accept others judging you. Fat people judge skinny people; skinny judge fat. For years and years black and white people have judged each other. The same has gone for lower and upper classes. Tall people make rude comments to short people (often without realizing it) and short people do the same to tall people. (My 6'4" husband never played basketball so if you see him don't ask, he'll be grateful you didn't). Apparently it is just the new(ish) thing to publicly shame someone based on his/her shirt size.

We as the human race should really be saddened, or scared, because as a race we haven't learned from past mistakes. People are people. We are all human and no one is perfect. Most of the time you don't have all the facts to why a person looks a certain way. What if we could all stop staring and judging, and instead find the courage to walk up and talk to that different person, one human being to another? Now wouldn't that be nice.

Are we really starting Preschool??

I love browsing store aisles this time of year. They are full of the beginnings of "Back to School" supplies. Bright colored pencils and notebooks fill the shelves alongside markers and crayons. I don't know why but it makes me happy and excited. I don't remember shopping for new school supplies as a child. I'm sure there was a list, and my mom got what we needed, but my mother never enjoyed shopping in my youth so it wouldn't have been an exciting trip to the store for new clothes or trendy folders like Lisa Frank... ah how I always wanted a Lisa Frank folder, or notebook, or anything.

Anyway, as you know, I love the $ section at Target. Well those small aisles also have back to school supplies, but geared more towards teachers. I found some Pre-K workbooks, and super cute-educational calendar supplies. I couldn't resist, and having worked in an elementary before, I know that even preschoolers do the day of the week along with the weather each day. So here we are. My big kid three year old and me. Beginning to learn the days of the week each morning during breakfast.

Cute right?!  $5!

So far we've been at it for three days. Babycake has mastered "Today's Weather," as well as tomorrow's. She gets partly cloudy mixed up and says partly sunny, but really who's to say she's wrong on that one? I think the weather forecasts have been so easy for her to pick up b/c we discuss the weather on a daily basis; "no we can't go and swing b/c it's raining," "would you like to go for a bike ride? It's beautiful and sunny out," "what animals or shapes do you see in the clouds?" etc. She loves to put up the weather forecasts as well as the date. We sing the days of the week and she has learned how to say each day, but does not have the order in which they go down. Really I'm not worried about that. There are second graders who don't know the days of the week, so she's fine. We haven't even touched the month area. July is just up there b/c it belongs there, not because we're at that point in learning.

Over the last year we've done some crafts that involved a little bit of tracing. Babycake loves to get into my pens and pencils whenever possible, so I wasn't surprised when she was excited that the workbooks I got involved tracing our letters. On our first day she sat and did 2.5 pages in the workbook. I figure she'll be a great student once she hits school age b/c she will sit and do crafts for hours, and proved with this activity that she'll sit for a good amount of time working in a notebook.

Babycake didn't want to use crayons
 (why use crayons when you have a "big kid" pencil)
so she didn't color in the pictures as instructed, instead she circled them.

Instead of being nervous or overwhelmed that we're doing "school" stuff as I image some parents would be, I'm actually relieved. By doing these activities everyday I won't have to come up with my own plans or lessons like I have been for the last two years. Of course if I wanted to be mother of the year, I would continue to make lessons and crafts to finish our "Letter of the Week" lessons, I mean we only have Xx, Yy, and Zz. But honestly, I think we'll be taking a break. Babycake already knows all her letters, and coming up with crafts, getting supplies ready, and doing it has proved harder now that Buddyboy has come along. I think I'll stick with filling up prep time with nap time for the time being. Once I have this whole parent of two thing figured out I'll get more detailed and elaborate with our lessons. For now workbooks and calendars will do just fine.

Bugs

Children pick up social and behavioral cues from everyone they encounter. With it being summer, all the critters have come out. One of Babycake's best friends however is TERRIFIED of all bugs- large, small, friendly, scary. I believe that because Babycake looks up to her friend so much she has suddenly developed this fear as well, as if out of obligation. (sigh)

So how are we dealing with this sudden and frankly annoying fear of all things creepy crawly? We went to the library! We got lots of books on all the basic bugs we encounter and are reading, crafting, and learning about these creatures. What better way to conquer a fear than to conquer ignorance and learn there is nothing to fear at all?

We read a few books about flies, butterflies, and bugs. She enjoys reading so she liked this and was interested in all the different kinds of creepy crawlies there are. We also have been having a lot of rain this summer, so every time we go outside we find rained out worms. She doesn't like to touch them, but she enjoys finding them and looking at them. So after a couple days of reading, and a lot of rain, we made some worms because at this point we are no longer afraid of worms. (small victories people)

As you can see we have "normal" looking worms... all worms have two eyes duh... and "alien" worms that have one large googelie eye. These were super easy, and Babycake spent hours coming back to make more. All we used were pipe cleaners cut in half, cheerios, and google eyes.

I also happen to frequent the DollarTree and found a great little bug house. We've spent many evenings catching fireflies to put in it. We do let the fireflies out before going in for bed, which was a hard lesson for Babycake to learn our first night since she didn't believe us that the fireflies would be back the next night to play. We have also housed a caterpillar in our little bug house for about a week (and it lived! yay!!).

Finally, Babycake is also learning that bugs outside get to live, where as the bugs inside are executed. When Babycake finds any bug, pretty much anywhere, she rushes to let us know about it and proclaims we must kill it. However, if we are with her and pointing out bugs, she's interested and unafraid. Babycake and I were out a few days ago... one of the rare days it wasn't raining...  and I was able to point out flies, ants, two different types of spiders, and lots of grasshoppers all in the grass of our backyard. She was very excited to see all the different creatures and explore. I was just happy she wasn't running away crying.

After a few weeks of this intentional bug discussion and discovery in our home we've made great progress. Some days we like bugs, others we don't. Some days she can stomp on an ant in the house on her own, but most of the time she runs to Mamma or Daddy. This may just be a thing we'll have to go through the next few summers. (I have my fingers crossed that we don't)

Letter of the week: Vv & Ww

Well a lot has happened in the last few weeks. We welcomed our newest member of the family and bc of this addition, our crafting and structured  learning has been temporarily put on hold. 

A couple days before "Buddyboy" was born Babycake and I worked on the letter Vv. This letter's sound was a bit difficult for her. For some reason she kept wanting to make the F sound. I finally got her to look at my mouth when making the V sound and that did help, though I'm not convinced it will stick.

Our crafts we created for the letter Vv were vegetables, a vase w flowers, a volcano, a vulture, and a violin which also had V's to trace and that was very exciting to trace.

 We then took our letter hiatis for a few weeks and have just gotten back to it with the letter Ww. Our Ww crafts were wings, a watermelon, a wagon, a walrus with whiskers, and a weather wheel. I hope the weather wheel clicks in her head about the different things we see outside being weather and not simply snow, rain, clouds, and sun.

It was so nice to get back to learning and crafting with Babycake. We both had a really great time, and the fact that we did all these crafts in one day says we missed this.

Simple Day Crafts

Today is Mother's Day. My Mother's Day was nearly perfect. I have to admit that with this pregnancy I've never had a perfect day as I have always been in some sort of discomfort or sick. Today was pretty relaxing filled with the simplicity of family togetherness. My husband and daughter finished the final paint touch ups to the baby's room and fixed some parts on the kitchen floor which have been in need of repair for months all while I was sleeping in. <3

After waking I was served a deliciously homemade breakfast and gifts. Afterwards my husband played his guitar and sang while Babycake danced and twirled and I got to watch and enjoy their talents. I would have enjoyed watching the impromptu show for more than the 30 mins Babycake allowed, but she saw that I had set out some craft supplies in the kitchen and insisted we switch our form of entertainment.

Now Babycake and I love to craft together. It's our was of learning and exploring the world. My husband is not a crafter and assumed that we would leave him to his music. Nope! It's Mother's Day, and I wanted Daddy to join in Babycake's love and joy of this form of art. Since Babycake's birthday party, where we had to save toilet paper rolls for a couple months to get the 12 we'd need for an activity, we've kept the the habit of saving  the rolls after the paper is gone. However, I haven't brought up and crafts requiring our growing stock of empty rolls until today. Today I decided we'd make some fun and simple crafts that Babycake will be able to play with for the next couple of days (before I throw the out when she's not looking).

Our first craft, to my husband's unreasonable dismay was a kaleidoscope. I don't know why, but when I told them what we'd be doing he sighed as if thinking I was going to be torturing him, while Babycake cheered, even though I know she had no clue what I was talking about. Anyway...



The materials we used
*toilet paper roll
*construction paper
*crayons, stickers
*glue
*foil
*tape
*beads
*sandwich bag
*rubber band

We cut the construction paper to size and glued it onto the roll and decorated it with stickers. Then we cut the foil to size and taped it inside the roll. Make sure the shiny side is the side you see when looking in the tube. Finally we threw some "pretty" beads into a sandwich bag, placed it over the hole of the roll, secured the bag with the rubber band and cute off the excess of bag.



Our second craft was a kazoo. The hubs, the lover of music, was much more interested in this craft. It could possibly be that he was also surprised by how simple and neat the kaleidoscope was, that he was intrigued to see how the kazoos would turn out.

The materials we used
*toilet paper roll
*crayons, stickers
*push pin
*wax paper
*rubber band




This craft was SUPER simple. We colored the rolls, added stickers, made some holes using the push pin, put a small square of wax paper over one end of roll and secured it with the rubber band.

Both Babycake and my husband had a great time humming into these for the next 15 mins. I was not so good at getting the correct kazoo sound but tried my best and we all had a good giggle.

Letter of the Week: Tt & Uu

While planning Babycake's birthday party as well as taking care of more things not part of our normal routine we took a little hiatus from a formal education routine. Letter Tt crafts spanned about 3 weeks while we just did our Uu crafts today as its a cold morning.

Here are the Tt crafts we made, a tiger, train on tracks, and tree.

Today we also made a tractor.




Our Uu crafts we made this morning: unicycle, Up, underwater, and umbrella.

We went through all the Uu crafts I'd prepared in one morning so I'm hoping to come up with some more to get her to practise/learn what sound Uu makes.

Babycake's Rainbow Birthday Party

This weekend we celebrated Babycake's 3rd birthday. I had a great time planning and setting up the party. It was by far much more than we have done for either of her other birthdays, and my husband asked if all her parties after this are going to be as "extravagant." I responded by explaining that no they will not all be as big a deal as this year, but this is Babycake's last birthday as a single child. I wanted her to feel special. We only have a few weeks left before her world (and ours) will be rocked with the arrival of her baby brother. Because he is such a good man, the hubs quickly agreed in understanding.

My husband and I did most of the set up the night before, so when Babycake awoke and came out of her room the first thing I heard was "Oooooo I like that!" as she spotted the chain links and rainbow sign in the stairway. I then listened as she tiptoed down the stairs to touch the streamers. She then noticed through the streamers that the kitchen had been rearranged and descended the remaining steps to investigate. There was a squeal of glee when she say the streamers and balloons followed by her pitter patter into the living room to see if anything else was different. She found more chain links there as well as another birthday sign. She then scrambled back up stairs to wake my husband and I exclaiming "Momma! Dadda! Come see come see!" She was so excited to show us all the new and colorful decorations. Then as we finished the final preparations through the morning she danced and sang outside the front door awaiting the arrival of her party guests... in her pajamas ;-) We did change into her party outfit before anyone arrived.

Happy Birthday sign I printed out and hung on wall.

A few months ago I asked her what theme she would like and gave her the choice between a Rainbow party and a Frozen party. I honestly expected her to pick Frozen despite the fact I've been secretly researching rainbow party ideas on Pinterest for the last year. I was pleasantly surprised when she chose rainbows over Frozen. I asked her a few more times to choose between the two themes just to make sure she would be happy with the rainbow theme and not melt down that I had done the wrong one the day of. She consistently picked rainbows :-)      

Here are the decorations and party games we did. All supplies were either bought at the DollarTree or on sale at Target. I don't think I spent more than $20 for decor including goodie bags as well as plates and cutlery.

  

Front door welcoming sign,  chain link decor (which Babycake did an excellent job helping to create), Happy Birthday 'Babycake' Rainbow sign in stairway. 

All the kids (and adults) enjoyed walking through a rainbow.

Rainbow colored goodie bags, cupcakes, rainbow jello cups, and ice pops.

The most expensive thing bought was all the food. We had hot dogs and mac and cheese as well as fruit and veggie trays with each color of the rainbow represented. (Strawberries, clementines, bananas, green grapes, blue berries, purple grapes, red bell peppers, carrots, yellow bell peppers, broccoli, and blue corn tortilla chips b/c I couldn't find a decent blue/purple veggie) 

I had three activities prepared for the party, though we only did 2, some kids did 1, and some did none. As with any group, some of the kids liked the games, some didn't, Babycake loved it all and that's all I cared about. I knew that not all the kids would enjoy craft activities but Babycake is all about crafts and loved it all and having the birthday girl love her party is all that matters.

 

When guests first walked in they were greeted by the excited birthday girl, and invited to make a Rainbow necklace. This consisted of yarn, a name tag cut to look like a cloud, and fruit loops. For those kiddos who attempted to make a necklace (including Babycake) it quickly went from stringing the loops on the yarn to just popping them in the mouth :-)

Once all guests had arrived and settled in as much as is possible at a toddlers birthday party, we launched the second activity- a Color Hunt. This Color Hunt consisted of the kiddos walking around the backyard searching for stickers to put in their Color Book. Each page had one color of the rainbow and they needed to find the correct color sticker to put on it. I placed bowls around the yard with signs says "Hooray! You've found (color), good for you! Here are some stickers, take a few." To hunt for these stickers each child had his/her own set of rainbow binoculars. I, along with grandparents, had saved toilet paper rolls over the last month to make little binoculars which I wrapped in construction paper and hung with yarn.

The third activity I had prepared was Rainbow streamers which consisted of ribbons of each color of the rainbow and shower curtain rings. The kids would have been able to run around flying rainbows. However, our party was only 2 hrs long so there wasn't time to do it and that's ok. I think Babycake would have enjoyed it, but she's still just as happy not knowing or having done it. 

I think overall all the kids, family and friends who helped celebrate with us had a good time. I know I did and Babycake was over the moon all day. We are so lucky to have such wonderful people as we do in our lives and we're so thankful they were able to join us in celebrating my big girl.

Pregnant Doesn't Equal Happy

This is a post I've been wanting to share for some time now. In an age where so many women and couples struggle with fertility, the concept of women not being overjoyed when becoming pregnant doesn't fit in. In reality, it's much more common than one might think. While people may be fighting infertility to start a family, this is also an era where girls have been brought up to believe they can do anything. So when an unexpected pregnancy occurs, it shouldn't be shocking to find the now mother-to-be upset or discouraged.

My husband I had been married for two years when we became pregnant with our daughter. At the time I was working as a part time nanny while working on my master's degree. My husband was working an entry level job, and we lived in a house on a busy street I never imagined raising a family in. Needless to say starting a family wasn't on our radar.

I refused to take a pregnancy test for two months while I was in denial with the possibility of a drastic life change. The moment the the test came back positive I broke down crying. This was not what was supposed to happen. I was a devout Catholic, believing I had a good relationship with God and was following His will in pursuing higher education which would allow me to enter a career He had prepared me for. I had never gotten a message/ hint/ clue that parenthood was in my future.

How were we supposed to pay for a kid? Working as a nanny, I knew what childcare cost. It didn't make sense financial for me to work while paying for childcare- my entire paycheck would go straight to any daycare or nanny (this is not only for while I worked as a nanny, but in the career I was pursuing after attaining my master's). So I had to quit working as well as my education- kids are expensive, we weren't going into more debt having a kid and continuing to pay tuition bills.

Ok, so that was settled, however, to manage paying for our mortgage, gas, groceries, utilities, or other bills, my husband's paycheck couldn't cover it. He began looking for a new job. We were both worried about the possibility he wouldn't be able to find a better paying job as he didn't have a college degree and most well paying jobs require some sort of bachelor's degree. Luckily after months of searching he was able to find a better paying job, and one he enjoyed.

While all of these major life decisions were going through my mind, my body was taking a beating of its own. Everyone expects some sort of morning sickness to be present during a pregnancy, but at that time no one thought of serious sickness- think Kate Middleton (who had not yet become pregnant with her first and made world news with her condition). While I my sickness wasn't as extreme as Kate's, I was seriously ill, and ended up in the ER one evening b/c I became so dehydrated from inability to keep anything down. I also wasn't blessed with morning sickness only in the first trimester, no, I was sick the whole pregnancy. Oh yeah, I also had gestational diabetes. Really, the majority of pregnancies are much, much easier than my experience.

Now, looking at how drastic my life changed in a short period of time it shouldn't be surprising to hear that I wasn't too pleased with being pregnant. So many worries and bills while feeling miserable... for nine/ten months. Also, I happened to be the first of my friends to get pregnant- meaning none of them had a clue what it was like to go through what I was going through.

So, did I receive a lot of understanding, sympathy, and support in my struggles? No. Family and friends shamed me. I was continually bombarded with "How can you not be excited?" "Babies are blessings! You should be happy." "You're so lucky!" "God is the only one who really knows His plan." "You must have misunderstood His plan for you."

None of this made me feel any better. Instead is made me feel worse- everyone else was excited and happy about this, what's wrong with me? Why can't I be excited? After months of hearing this, I retreated into isolation feeling shameful for my unhappiness and inability to even fake happiness. Shame + isolation. This is a horrible combination. I was seriously depressed. I couldn't get out of it.

When Babycake was born I didn't feel the instant love I was supposed to. I wasn't overcome with joy the way I was told I would be. Instead Babycake and I got to know each other over the first 24 hours. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. She was small, sweet, an instant cuddler, and amazing sleeper.

Even though I fell in love with Babycake, and she became the light of my life, I was still depressed. I had never come out of my pregnancy depression, or been told it was ok that I felt the way I did. Then add on more hormonal changes the body goes through after giving birth, and the normal baby blues many women experience and I was still an incredibly unhappy person.

While I was home all day everyone else in the world seemed to be at work. All my friends had jobs and gathered to hang out, but they would do so without me. At first they would invite me to dinners they were doing... at 7pm, normal for young adults, but bedtime for most children. So I couldn't go. After a few attempts they just stopped inviting me all together, even if it was a day event. More isolation. My family and husband's family all live out of town, so I didn't have a parent or sibling dropping by regularly to visit. I had stopped going to church during the pregnancy because it was just another source of shame and continued to be even after. So there was no community, or individual, to turn to for support.

I am able to say that I was unhappy and depressed now when I look back on the experience. While going through it I had no idea how miserable I was. I loved Babycake, I loved my husband, so it didn't make sense that I could be depressed. Growing up I'd witnessed family members and friends battle depression so I thought I would recognize, or know if I experienced it. No. That's wrong. When you're depressed, you don't know it. Depression doesn't make sense. You can still love someone more than anything (yourself, possessions, life, etc.) and still not be happy or be unable to make good choices for that loved one.

Thankfully, around Babycake's seventh month I began to come out of a kind of haze. I believe that my hormones were starting to return to normal. But I was able to recognize that my outlook and overall attitude was different, happier. I realized how isolated I was from my friends and family. So I decided to make a change. I wanted to get back in shape, gestational diabetes and depression had done a number on my body. I wanted adult interaction. I wanted friends. So I joined our local YMCA.

Seriously, this was a life changing decision. First, exercise is a natural stress reliever. I began to accept myself again and was learning how to love myself all because I was able to recognize that I was taking care of myself and I was worth being taken care of. Second, I was able to meet other stay at home moms and make friends. It was amazing to have conversations with someone who understood what your life was like and what you and your family are going through. Third, child care is free at Y's. FREE! An amazing word for a one income- tight budget family.

So that's my story. In exactly one month Babycake will turn 3. She is still the light of my life. I love her more than anything. We will be having a party for her where family, Y friends, and a few of the pre-baby friends who stuck around, will be invited. Our little family is happy. We are currently awaiting baby #2 to arrive in May. This time I was ready, I knew what to expect, I have still been sick, but I honestly don't care what people think about the emotions I feel day to day. I have a much better support group of women (who are moms) who listen and care. Even if our experiences are different they understand that it's ok to be different.

One note I would like to make is that husbands, especially first time dads, won't be much help in battling baby blues or depression. Like first time moms, this is all new to them. They don't know what's normal and what's not, they are struggling through the murky waters of parenthood right next to you. I asked my husband around Babycake's 2nd birthday, when I was in a much better place and could reflect on my experience, why he didn't realize I was so depressed, or why he didn't do anything about it. His response was that he didn't know. He didn't know what was normal, we had no family around us and no friends with kids to give us advice. Yes we took the pregnancy classes and the bringing baby home classes where they warned us of depression, but reading something in a book or class is very different from experiencing it.

If you have a friend struggling through a pregnancy or post par-tum depression. Please be careful what you say. Though the phrases "you should be happy," "you're so lucky," etc were meant to encourage me, they did nothing but make me feel guilty because I wasn't. The best thing you can do for a friend is ask how they are, really listen to what they say, and don't give any advice unless asked- especially if you don't have kids. Try to sympathize, empathize. Everyone's stories are different so something that would bring you joy doesn't have to bring joy to someone else. Even if its hard to be around the friend b/c let's face it, depression brings everyone down, don't leave them. Texting, calling, e-mailing are so easy to keep up even if your daily schedules no longer sync. Be a good friend, be there.

To end: I love my husband, I love my family. I'm nervous to meet this new little member in May. We are growing together and learning together as a family. We are happy. That's about the best any wife and mother could ask for.

Another project while the toddler's away

A few weeks ago Babycake went down to visit her grandparents for a weekend. While hubby assumed we would be having a relaxing weekend, I had other plans :-) At the time I was working about 5 hrs a day while at home with Babycake and pregnant. So, there was a lot of things I'd been wanting to do that I no longer had time for like when I wasn't working... or pregnant.

When hubby and I bought the house, we knew we would have to work on a lot of the rooms. As I've shared in other posts, we've worked on almost every room in the house, from painting to completely gutting. This particular weekend however, I wanted to repaint the bathroom. I'd painted it twice already. The room is incredibly small, and the first color of paint I had picked a pale purple that ended up still being too dark for the space. The second color was a good color and shade, but I bought cheap paint and it started to crack within a week after being painted.

laundry storage wall

laundry rm wall

So we started to paint the bathroom with some paint I had bought over the summer, but never had a toddler free day to get the project done. After a couple of swipes with the roller however and I was afraid that the pale blue I had picked was still too dark for our tiny bathroom. So I took the pale blue that was bought for the bathroom and the hubs and I tackled our disgusting laundry room. The previous home owners tried to paint the walls a horrible puke green color over the black industrial drywall. It did not work out well and the room always looked grimy b/c of it. But now with our new coat of fresh paint the laundry room feels much brighter, bigger, and cleaner.

After we finished our laundry room paint job, that took about an hr, we headed to Lowes to acquire some paint that would not be too dark for the bathroom. As soon as we returned we tackled the bathroom. It took about 2 coats and a few touch ups but the bathroom looks great. It's a testament to room sizing b/c now that both rooms are done the paint looks the same, however, when the paint strips are next to each other you can see a difference. Hubby can't tell the difference in color from the teal blue we had before to the extremely pale blue we have now. I can tell and I'm perfectly happy with it. I'm just glad we don't have cracking paint that may chip with a baby on the way.

While at Lowes getting the bathroom paint I also picked out and bought paint for our baby boy's room (due in May). We did not get to painting his room over our spontaneous project weekend. Hubby was so tired from the work I had put him too on the other two rooms I didn't have the heart to make him do another. Especially when I had told him we would only be doing the bathroom... and the fact that he's not the best painter I've worked with... But this coming week, hubby is working out of town and Babycake is going to stay with grandparents, so I'll have the house and all my projects to myself. I'm trying not to be too optimistic about all I could accomplish with the free time. I have to keep reminding myself that in my 3rd trimester state I can not push myself to do all I could in my non-pregnant state.

New Dance Class!

Babycake is the one directly
across from the instructor.

Over the last year Babycake has been attending classes at our local Y. Last spring she took two gymnastics classes. She knew how to do a somersault before the class, but she learned how to do a log roll, handstand against the wall, how to properly land after a jump, as well as a supported backward roll. She loved it.

Last fall she took two dance classes. She did great and again loved it. I also loved the class as the it was small, and the teacher was amazing so parents got to sit in the room but didn't have to participate. So nice when I was feeling ill due to pregnancy.

Today Babycake had her second class in the next level dance class. She had a great time and did well. I was a little nervous about it though as parents got kicked out of the room. (We were allowed in the first class to sit and watch and will be allowed back in the room at the last class) So, I along with all the other parents sat in the hallway and watched through the room window. I was probably the most nervous parent as Babycake is the youngest in the class and only makes the age cut as she will turn 3 at the end of the class session. 

Letter of the Weeks Rr & Ss

I've finally been able to keep up with crafts for Babycake! Last week we worked on the letter Rr. She did great and knew the sound Rr made before we even practiced (proof that her ABC computer toy has been a huge help in teaching the letters- whether or not I like the idea of technology teaching my kid).

 We made a Robot, Rabbit, Road with little cars, Rainbow, Rain w rain cloud, and a rooster. Babycake did great with each one. She knew what we were making and the letter we used. The only one that she's had trouble with is the rooster. Once we make a craft, we hang it up on the wall for the rest of the week. When she would look up she would go through each of her crafts and each time she got to the rooster she would say turkey. An easy mistake for a two year old I'd say.

This week we worked on the letter Ss. We made an S w stars, Snake, squirrel, Snowman, skunk, and Seahorse. Again, Babycake knew what we were making and the letter we used as well as the sound it made. She has an Aunt Sarah, and would add "S is for Sarah!" at the end of each S sound jingle we would sing.

Babycake loves crafts, and I couldn't keep up with the demand for them this week, so I did cheat on the squirrel and skunk. Those I just printed off line and cut the S's off the animals for her to glue back on.

Surprise Valentine Treats

With the hubs being out of town on work over Valentine's Day Babycake and I have been busy making some surprise treats to give him when we visit over the weekend. We all exchanged our gifts before hubby left as we didn't plan to visit, but after being the only parent for a week, I'm done and ready for a change of scenery and a possible break.
To be honest, I didn't come up with these treat ideas on my own. I didn't even find/search for them on Pinterest! (shocking I know) Instead, I was watching the Today show and they had a little tid-bit on DIY valentines. Since we'd already given hubby his gifts, I thought it would be a nice surprise to receive more on our visit! We made Valentine Crackers and oreo pops. Babycake had a great time making both, though I have to say she was much better at making the Valentine Crackers than oreo pops. Here are pic of our work and I've added the videos of how-to at the bottom.

Valentine Cracker supplies

Finished Valentine Crackers

Oreo treats drying

Our finished surprises for Dadda/hubby!

Working on surprise Valentine's for our hotel staff!