This morning my friend shared with me it was just one of those mornings for her where she just wanted to yell "Shut the f*** up!" to her kids. I think any parent has had those mornings, afternoons, and evenings. I laughed and did the parent to parent shrug and nod expressing my understanding and sympathy.
My morning didn't start out as bad as hers. My morning was pretty normal with Babycake waking around 6:45, me stumbling to get her a sippy of warm milk with her allergy meds mixed in and then falling back into bed while she happily sings and drinks in her room. Then we did the usual breakfast, potty, dress routine and a little added bonus of me forgetting I needed to put the car seat cover back on after being washed from a pee soak. We then rushed out the door in order to make it to the Y in time for my exercise class. Rushing seems to be pretty normal for us. Something is always forgotten or misplaced and setting us back a couple minutes. In the end, we were early and I got to hear my friend expressed her frustration.
Class went well. Babycake and I had a great lunch play date with friends. Babycake had a good nap followed by a fun time in gymnastics and there was no major meltdown before or during dinner. We had a really good Skype chat with the hubs and Babycake went down for the night without too much fuss. So why do I feel so blah? Really the day, if typical, leans towards a pretty good day. Having a toddler means that by definition there will be tantrums and tears most days and today was no exception, but also not extreme.
Maybe I'm just exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally. I wouldn't say I'm mad. I don't feel sad. I feel frustrated, but can't pinpoint why or what I'm frustrated about. Hubby has been out of town for a week and a half now. Babycake and I got to visit with him and some family for a 3 day weekend; but in all honesty traveling with a kid is not relaxing, not to mention I was not feeling well before we even got there.
We've had a leak from our roof to down inside our bedroom wall for months now, that we attempted to fix. However yesterday I had a roofer come to actually fix it, only to have it rain all day today and the problem is still here. With all the raining, our driveway is flooding again, meaning I will most likely wake to a flooded garage despite my setting up the sump pump outside and in our crawl space.
Also, I want to move. I'm done with this house. I want to live in a nice neighborhood with side walks and not on a busy street. To get our house ready to sell, we REALLY have to get new kitchen cabinets. Lucky for us the in-laws are getting rid of their basement kitchen to make room for a wine cellar.
Now, here's the fun time line part. We leave with the in-laws for Europe in June. Same time, we start renting our spare bedroom to a family friend in town for a summer internship. I want the kitchen done before then. Hubby doesn't come home to stay for another week and half. Yes, he is coming home this weekend b/c for my Valentine he got us concert tickets for Sat. Next weekend when he is officially back home, family are coming to town for the Indy 500. The next weekend we have 2 b-day parties, but we could definitely get more work in then, than the time we have in closer coming weekends; but that is the weekend before we leave for our trip. So... What to do... I don't know.
All I know, at 11pm, is that I am over being a single parent. I need a break. The time Babycake was watched by her grandparents and aunt this weekend does not count in my book as I was attempting to regain good health. I'm simply tired of being sick. I'm tired parenting on my own. I'm tired of trying to make schedules and plans work. I'm tired of living in this house. I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
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